The chapter on communication provided some ideas for improving communication. Are any of these ideas helpful to you? For the blog this week, make 1 post of 200 words or 2 of 100 words each. You can also comment or expand on another student's posting.
You can describe how you plan to apply some of the ideas in this chapter to improving communication with your children, boss, friends or parents or anyone who is important in your life.
You can also read the scenarios below and use your knowledge of personality type to suggest ways to improve the communication. For a quick review of personality type, click on Do What You Are on the front page of your portfolio on CollegeScope. You can comment on one or more of the scenarios.
Scenario 1 (E and I):
Mary and Carol are roommates and are discussing paying bills for the apartment that they share. Mary is upset because Carol paid the phone bill late. The more that Mary talks, the quieter Carol becomes. This causes Mary to become even more upset. Mary starts talking in a loud voice and Carol leaves the room. How can they improve communication?
Scenario 2 (S and N):
A sensing type and an intuitive type are on a first date. What is each likely to talk about?
Scenario 3 (T and F):
Rachel and Jim have been married about a year. Rachel complains to Jim that he never says, "I love you" anymore. Jim replies that he would not have married Rachel if he didn't love her. How can they improve communication?
Scenario 4 (J and P):
Students in a business class are assigned as a group project to design a business plan. This is an evening class and has mostly adults who have busy schedules with work, family and school. Mike is a highly motivated student who wants to get the group organized and complete the project quickly. Mike is getting irritated at John because he cannot decide on a topic and get going. John keeps coming up with different creative ideas for the business plan. John is getting irritated at Mike because he thinks that Mike is trying to control the group. How can this group work together to complete a successful project?
Scenario 2
ReplyDeleteOn a first date for a sensing type they seem to usually like to talk about basic everyday things that go on in our lives such as events like the weather, news, or what have they been doing lately. On a first date for an intuitive type of person they would generally talk about their creative ideas such as their goals they have set for themselves that they would like to achieve, dreams they would hopefully fulfill one day, or their impressions. They both tend to talk opposite things on the first date but generally will adapt to similarities after a few dates.
Scenario 3
ReplyDeleteFor Rachel and Jim I believe that the reason that Jim has not been saying I love you anymore to Rachel is because they probably have not spent any quality time lately. I believe that they need to try and get their spark back with each other so they should go out on dates maybe once a week. Another thing they can do is maybe sit down and talk to each other face to face and try to figure out what they can do to make each other always feel loved by one another. If Rachel does not feel loved by Jim anymore she needs to talk to him and express her emotions personally to him and letting her know how she actually feels so Jim can figure out a way he can make her feel loved again.
Hello Rawnsen,
DeleteYou nailed it from the get go about Rachel. I actually had to ask my girlfriend about this and she said the same thing like you. She helped me out with the answer. Many times women want to feel wanted and loved and when their significant other is not telling them that they love them, they wonder why. Even though a couple can be together for ten years or married for three, it does not matter. It is a working relationship where they want to have that bond.
Scenario 1
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to having roomates, it can be very stressful in trying to figure out a technique on paying bills. One cool thing that has been established is auto pay. If Mary is upset that Carol is paying the phone bill late, it should be paid when she gets paid. Mary needs to sit down and explain this to her. Sometimes some that is an introvert, likes their space so even texting them when you are not home but be a better approach. Texting, emailing, even face to face contact are all ways of contact. Even though face to face might be the most effective, in this case, Mary is unable to speak to her roommate.
I agree about the auto pay feature. I use this for everything, that way I never forget about my bills. Also, Mary needs to give Carol more of a chance to respond, and then they can try to work out a better plan, something like the auto pay idea. Mary needs to realize the talking more and louder will not solve the problem.
DeleteScenario 3
ReplyDeleteIt seems like Rachel and Jim are not spending very much time together. I do not know if they have children or have been married for a long time. Rachel might feel like her husband is working too much or is not giving her the attention she wants. There could be a deeper issue to the situation than just "I love you." Many times couples will say this but it is more about them doing the old things they would do together. For instance, many times before a couple is married they would dress up and always go on dates, they would sit down and watch tv together. They would text and talk about everything and it seems like this is the issue going on today. Rachel misses this. She wants back that part of her relationship. She sees her husband caught up in his own world which makes her sad because she wants to be apart of this too.
If Jim does not say "I love you" if he is married to Rachel then there might be something wrong as you mentioned July, If they are married they probably know each other really well. Maybe Rachel start to think that he is doing on purpose and that is where the argument starts. They have to get rid of pride in order to have a peace arguement so that things go well and they can fix the things that hurt each other.
DeleteMary and Carol as Roommates:
ReplyDeleteIn this situation Mary needs to be a little more reasonable and realize that no one is perfect. It is important for Mary to wait and discuss this situation at least 24 hours later. Since she is upset she is letting her feelings get in the way. There may be a very good reason that Carol did not get the bill paid on time. Instead of yelling Mary needs to ask Carol why it was not paid and get her point of view. They may need to seek out alternatives to making sure that bills get paid on time, for example maybe Mary needs to gently remind Carol right before it is due. Carol on the other hand knew she did not pay the bill and she needs to take responsibility for her actions and not just walk away. They are adults and they need to handle this issue in a mature manner. If the two of them can’t come to an agreement then it may be time for both of them to look to other living arrangements. Just because they did not get along does not mean that either one of them failed. There are so many different personalities and they have to realize that not everyone can live together.
This chapter was very informative and helpful in dealing with how to communicate with individuals. I believe it will help me to communicate more effectively. One important thing to remember is that it is not what you say but how you say it or how you come across. I learned from this chapter not to use the pronoun “you” because it usually implies that you are making a judgment or blaming someone. It is not effective in communicating and it will lead to anger and loss of friends. So it is important to think before you react so as not to get anyone upset and pass judgment on someone. It takes time and a lot of practice to learn effective communication skills.
ReplyDeleteI believe that one of the biggest problems in communication is assuming that the other person already knows the information that you are going to tell them. This is because then the information doesn't get shared and then both parties get frustrated and angry. One of the best solutions to this problem is to the other person and I bring it up. One way I think would be to bring it up in a question like, "Hey, did you know about this....?". If they tell you that they do not know then you can fill them in or whatever needs to be said after it is clarified what they do or don't know. Another problem in communication is that people assume that the other person got their message and sometimes thy don't and therefore something won't get accomplished. Once someone realizes that what they wanted done didn't get accomplished they can often get frustrated, calling the other person names, and then both people are in a bad mood. One way to avoid this would be to double check and make sure that the person got your message. Also, if they got your message and still didn't get it done wait and give them a chance to explain why it didn't get done.
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ReplyDeleteScenario 1: Mary and Carol can improve their communcation skills by sitting down and looking over all of the bills. Mary can talk to Carol in a calm way and ask why she has not yet paid the phone bill. This would give Carol the chance to be heard instead of being yelled at. By doing this, Mary should allow Carol to explain herself instead of Mary having to raise her voice and yell. Mary should just give Carol a chance to explain and listen. Carol will then explain to Mary the reason why she hasn't payed the phone bill yet and then, Mary and Carol can agree on what they should do next.
ReplyDeleteScenario 3: Rachel and Jim can improve their communcation problem by spending more time together. I can only imagine once living with someone and seething them every day, you would stop going out on dates and spending time outside of the house or apt. I understand that Jim is just being a man, but women love to be affectionate and love to just get some flowers or just a simple card that reminds her how lucky he is to have her in his life. Just to remind her that he was thinking about her today.
Nowadays, there's a big issue of people taking in information from others in the wrong way. Personally, I have had many situations where people take things the wrong way and feel angry or indifferent about what I told them, especially in my own family. Many times they argue with me and don't let me get the point I actually wanted to get across. I think that this is most likely the important lesson from this chapter. Miscommunication leads to many issues that shouldn't be there in the first place and that's something that many people need to improve on. Either listening more carefully or thinking more clearly before speaking about something that might anger the other person in a conversation. For me, I talk without thinking a whole lot. So I would have to stop and think before saying something that might offend someone so that I can avoid an argument that shouldn't be an argument. Although I've never had an issue with listening carefully, I still will also try to improve on that too. The ideas from this chapter were pretty helpful. I liked the whole idea of the "I" statements and how effective they can be rather than "you" statements. That's something I might also work on
ReplyDeleteScenario 1 (E and I):
ReplyDeleteMary and Carol are roommates and are discussing paying bills for the apartment that they share. Mary is upset because Carol paid the phone bill late. The more that Mary talks, the quieter Carol becomes. This causes Mary to become even more upset. Mary starts talking in a loud voice and Carol leaves the room. How can they improve communication?
After being in a relationship over 2 years, i have realized that women take communication far more serious than men when it comes to personal issues. Carol responded in the same way that i probably would have responded. I love constructive criticism, but i absolutely HATE when people mentally beat me up when i have made a mistake. Mary is completely wrong for communicating in such a poor manner. Communication, especially in relationships, is essential to the success of it. Mary should have calmed down and spoke to Carol in a proper way. Instead of yelling, she should have asked him why he forgot. After this, she should explain to him that he made a big mistake, yet it is a big lesson to learn from next time. The only thing that makes people feel worse about making a mistake is when people go on and on and on and on and on about how stupid they were to do such a stupid thing. Mary needs to understand that the only reason why Carol is not talking back to her is because she handled the situation so terribly.
Scenario 3 (T and F):
ReplyDeleteRachel and Jim have been married about a year. Rachel complains to Jim that he never says, "I love you" anymore. Jim replies that he would not have married Rachel if he didn't love her. How can they improve communication?
I personally dont think love is about saying 'I love you' every single second of the day. I am one of those people that think actions are one million times stronger than words. Rachel seems like a very sensitive person who loves attention from her husband. Jim is completely right when he tells her that he would have never married her if he didnt love her, but he still should show affection in some way. Some ways they can improve their communication is by making their relationship funner. Participate in activities that strengthen their feelings and remind them of why they are together. Their is nothing worse than a boring relationship with someone you don't want to separate from. They could also improve their relationship in many other ways, such as praying together or writing letters to each other and doing quality things.
Improving Communication:
ReplyDeleteIt is really important to have good communications with people you are most familiar with such as friends, roomates and co workers. With friends comes a lot of talking. Sometimes during conversations there can be confusion. Quite often the message being given is not always the message recieved. It is really important that you clearly explain what you are trying to get across to your friends in a conversation. With roomates it is important that you clearly state what bothers you and what doesnt. Statements such as "I dont understant, I dont like when, I want this" are best to use with roomates so everyone understands what is expected of them. With co workers it is really important that during conversation you are making a note to understand and get engaged with the conversations. It is important to give good feed back and respond accordingly to your co workers so they know you are really interested in the conversation.
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ReplyDeleteScenario 1 Roomates:
ReplyDeleteWhen living with roomates it is always important to first lay out the rules and responsibilities of everyone in the house so everyone is on the same page. When arguing or dissagreeing over something it is very helpful to clearly state what it is that is bothering you or what you are looking from other roomates. Statements such as "I want this..I hate when..I do not..This has to..", That way everything is clearly laid out. In the case of Mary and Carol, Mary is an Extrovert and Carol in an Introvert. Because of these two different personalities they can clash in arguments. Mary is very talkative and has no problem saying what is on her mind. While Carol is very quiet and reserved in those situations. They can work on there communication with eachother by trying to understand the other persons needs. Mary needs to understand that Carol is not a confrontational person and go at things more relaxed and by clearly stating what is wrong in one sentence. Also Carol needs to understand that Mary is not being crazy rude that is just her personality and how she gets her point across. Carol can tell Mary what bothers her by stating, "I want you to..".
Scenario 1 (E and I):
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion on how should Mary and Carol discussing paying bills is first let them sit together somewhere and discuss on why did Carol paid the bill late if Carol discuss that with his roommate Mary in com way then Mary wouldn’t be upset anymore. So I think the best way for all of us is to go somewhere and just sit together and discuss why they didn’t do why was it late what happen its better than just arguing with each other. So that’s what should Carol and Mary should be doing first before doing anything else.
Scenario 3 (T and F):
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion on how people when they are married they like they want every time to say “I love you” well the truth is they should say that to each other but they don’t think that if they you don’t like u that’s why they don’t say I love you. But I think that once a while they should say I love you to each other so they can make their marriage interest and more fun. So in my opinion that they should have some of an active to play so they can know how much they love each other so that’s what they should do.
Scenario 1 (E and I)
ReplyDeleteI think that Mary and Carol need to have their discussion in a quiet environment a few days after Carol paid the bill late so that Mary's emotions that were present at the time would have gone down. Mary has to use a calm tone and give Carol time to think and talk. Mary is overwhelming Carol because her personality is so extroverted and Carol's is so introverted. Marry needs to understand that the more she yells the worse the situation will become because she is making Carol increasingly more uncomfortable. Once Marry and Carol can communicate effectively then they can discuss some things or schedules to put into place so that Carol does start to pay the bills on time. But if they cannot effectively talk to each other then it may be time for them to seek new living arrangements.
There are a few things from the chapter that I plan on using to improve my communication with friends. The first is that I need to realize that we all have different personalities which make us unique and that everyone's personalities are not always going to compliment each other. Because I am a feeler I always find myself just agreeing with my friends just to stop arguments so I don't always get to do the activities that I want to do. I am going to start standing up more for what I think even if at the time someone may become frustrated with me because I know that my values are worth a lot. Also I will work on making sure that I pay more attention to others while they are speaking. Because I am an introvert I like to think about what my responses to people will be which causes me to sometimes not hear everything that is being said.
ReplyDeleteRachel and Jim have been married about a year. Rachel complains to Jim that he never says, "I love you" anymore. Jim replies that he would not have married Rachel if he didn't love her. How can they improve communication?
ReplyDeleteI think in this situation they both need to make some changes. While Jims reply is valid an probably true, he could have thought of a better way of getting hat through to Rachel. Rachel does need to realize life gets crazy and delivery the observation in a different way. Jim also needs to be showing Rachel so she doesn't feel like she has to hear him say it. The confrontation can be easily diffused and they can be more patient with each other and getting used to the new life of marriage.
My second post will explain a way I will improve my communication skills now that I have read the importance of them. At home I have my brother living downstairs and he just got home from graduating college. I am no longer used to him being at home so things can get a little tense when it comes to being on the same page about expectations around the house regarding cleanliness. He tends to leave dishes everywhere and doesn't realize he isn't in a college house with his guy friends anymore but with his family who has a routine. Sometimes I have a short fuse and I get mean with him and instead I will sit down and explain myself and why it is so important that we are all contributing to the house and make sure to listen to any feedback he might have as well.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteScenario 2 (S and N):
A sensing type and an intuitive type are on a first date. What is each likely to talk about?
on the first date the intuitive people would normally talk about the things they have planned and life goals and things the aspire to do and want to accomplish in life with a and more creative thing's. if you were to go on a date with a sensing type they would be more likely to bring up more casual conversations and things that have to do with daily events and not as intimate conversations with people.
I agree with people talking about goals and life plans. I really think by having a first date you are able to know the person and should be able to tell if you want to see them again.
DeleteScenario 3 (T and F):
ReplyDeleteRachel and Jim have been married about a year. Rachel complains to Jim that he never says, "I love you" anymore. Jim replies that he would not have married Rachel if he didn't love her. How can they improve communication?
I think that she needs to better communicate with her husband and say more often that she would like him to show that he cares and say that he loves her and be more clear about and needs to take more of an action. jim also need to take her concerns and take her feelings into consternation and needs do more to make her happy and maybe they could make an agreement where its not everyday but how he can do other things to show that he loves her and then she has to realize tat he is trying they need to talk more and that could really help their relationship.
Scenario 3
ReplyDeleteRachel and Jim have been married about a year. Rachel complains to Jim that he never says, "I love you" anymore. Jim replies that he would not have married Rachel if he didn't love her. How can they improve communication?
They both married because they love each other but Jim needs to be more attentive to what Rachel is feeling. A lot of feelings are involved in a marriage and only through better communication they can solve their problems. If they really care about each other it is going to be a win-win. Jim has to understand that Rachel can stop being nice to him. Maybe Rachel doesn't realize that Jim truly loves her and he is not the romantic type of person.
Scenario 1 (E and I):
ReplyDeleteKnowing the difference between the extrovert and an introvert, I can say that this situation just needs both of the opposing views to talk about their ways. They probably should have talked about this in the past, but obviously they did not. It seems that Carol would talk about it but Mary would always not listen. Their minds are in completely different areas. Since Mary is an extrovert, she would raise her voice to speak over Carol. It looks like they have had something like this before. Carol just needs to go out and cool off alone and think about the situation. Mary may need to talk to someone about it and cool off and think about each side of the situation. Carol might not of been paid at the moment of the phone bill or just had her finances slip. It could have been a situation that would only happen once. They just need to relax and talk about their opposing views after they had some time to think and just relax. Their views are opposing and all that is needed is a simple coversation where there is lots and lots of listening and understanding. They just need to see that they do not have the same ways of thinking.
Scenario 2, a sensing type and an intuitive type are on a first date. What is each likely to talk about?
ReplyDeleteIf these two are on a date, the sensing type is more likely to talk about current situations and the physical world around them. They are more likely to talk about their day, job, or the news. The intuitive type is more likely to talk about dreams, ambitions, and future goals. They are generally more more creative, and think "outside the box".
A sensing type and an intuitive type are on a first date. What is each likely to talk about?
ReplyDeleteThe intuitive types like to fantasize and imagine what it is going to be like before it begins. They may talk about dreams, visions, beliefs, and creative ideas, skipping from one topic to another. Sensing types sometimes have difficulty following a conversation. They are more about facts and can be accused of nitpicking.
When dealing with communaction it is at time hard to remember that everyone is different. After taking this class im beginning to see the different personality types in some people. After learning there types and getting a sense of how different people react to a situation it makes is a little easier to understand commucation. I find a time I am stubborn and I like to think I am right a lot (lol). But Im learning to understand other people and this will help me with the communation and relationships.
Mary and carol should try equally paying bills.mary pay half and carol pay half.carol needs to pay ahead of time so she doesn't make a late payment.this will put her roommate at ease.mary should discuss her roommate and try not to make carol feel like she is being judged.these roommates just need to meet eachother hallway on bills and be more considerate.
ReplyDeleteIn scenario 1 a way Mary and Carroll can improve communication is by talking about the situation before coming out harsh and rude. Mary was immediately upset because Carroll was late paying the phone bill. If she would have just confronted Carroll in a nice and calm manner the conversation would have gone a lot more smoothly and they would have actually got somewhere and maybe came to an agreement or and/or solution. I believe when there is a heated argument like in this scenario, communication lacks and the situation gets no where. In this situation Carroll felt uncomfortable and was probably upset and caused him to leave the room. The problem got no where and did not get resolved.
ReplyDeleteIn scenario 3 Rachel and Jim can simply improve their situation by being more kind to each other. If Jim just simply starts saying "I love you" she will make Rachel more happy and it will show how much he loves her since she thinks he no longer does. He just needs to be less stubborn and and say some simple words to make her feel loved and the problem would be solved easily.
ReplyDeleteRachel and jim can improve their marriage.jim may love his wife but he needs tell her that.they could go on dates with eachother to keep them in love.jim has to show his wife that he still loves her and express that to her by telling her everyday and taking her out.then she will feel that he still loves her and that wil makel jim happy that she is not questioning his love for her.this married couple is fine as long as they show love and attention.
ReplyDeleteScenario 3 (T and F):
ReplyDeleteFirst, I would like to start off by saying Rachel already is expecting too much. If they have been married for a year it should be a given to her that he obviously loves her, being that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. It sounds to me like she just wants attention; you cannot just expect everything and everything from someone. I am not picking sides; Jim is probably assuming that she should already know that he loves her. They both can improve their communication by actually talking about it and seeing why is it that Jim doesn’t say “I love you” anymore, and why Rachel is being sensitive. If they both do not simply sit down together and ask why? The problems will escalate. In addition, Jim should’ve flat out told Rachel why he is doing something out of the norm instead of refusing to tell her “I love you” anymore.
#2
ReplyDeleteOn a first date I think this is finding out the basics of each other and current events that are happening. I think you are learning things about each other that are not too deep but you are able to get a good idea of the person. I think you must learn enough about the person in order to know if you want to go on a second date with this person. I think the conversations stay pretty general. You don't what to know everything about the person on the first date nor do you want to tell each person everything.
scenario 4 J & P: Mike can start off by making an outline of when things need to be done, so that he can take action within a timely matter. Where as John can nicely explain he does not feel as if his ideas are being taken into account. Mike and John need to recognize that Mike has better organization skills, and John is very creative, and split up tasks within the group project that fall into what they are good at. It is important for Mike to understand the project does not need to be rushed, and he does not need to assume all the responsibility, where at the sametime John needs to understand he does not have all the time in the world to change the project up, however he needs to vocalize his feelings towards Mike in an "I" way.
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