Excerpts from Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman:
Real happiness comes from identifying, cultivating and using your personal strengths in work, love, play and parenting. Seligman contrasts happiness with hedonism. He says that a hedonist "wants as many good moments and as few bad moments as possible in life." He states that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness that leaves us feeling empty. For example, we often assume that more material possessions will make us happy. However, the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have.
Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities. 2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. 3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. 4. Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. 5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. 6. Take the time to savor the happy times. 7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. 8. Build more flow into your life. Flow is the state of gratification we feel when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths.
Write your comments on these ideas. What does happiness mean to you?
Share some of your intention statements for the future. You can make two posts of 100 words each or one post of 200 words.
Your blogs have been inspiring and awesome. Best wishes for the future!
I believe that happiness is when you consciously are aware of something that makes you and not the material things. The things that make you happy are things like spending time with family and friends doing activities that all of you guys enjoy like going bowling, going to the beach, going to the movies. I think that one thing that everyone can learn to do is slow down and learn to enjoy the present instead of planning out our weekends so that we have to be constantly going from one thing to the other trying to get so many things done. Maybe some of us learn to do this as we get older but it feels as though you can never have a day without worrying about whether or not you need to do something. Quite often we include a couple of things that we enjoy into our day so maybe it doesn't seem as stressful. One thing that I am definitely learning is that your past does not determine your future but it is you and how hard you want to try and change your life for the better. I think that this may be the reason why some people don't have the motivation because they feel as though their history will make it to where they can't get a job or change their lives for the better. Though I believe that anybody that has a positive attitude and thinks that they can do it will be able to accomplish anything that they want to.
ReplyDeleteHello Brittany,
DeleteYour attitude makes all the difference when it comes to anything in this world you do. It does not matter. You always have to keep a positive attitude and make sure you are happy with everything that is going on. There are going to be tough times and things that do not go our way. It is critical we focus on what we can and move forward from that.
I have always enjoyed working at the community college because students can make a new future through education and their own efforts. Nice comment Brittany!
DeleteDefining happiness is a tough one, because happiness is and individual experience. What makes one person happy it not necessarily what make the next person happy. To me happiness is a state in which your feel a sense of satisfaction, accomplishment and euphoria. One of the situations that makes me more satisfied is when I am with family and loved ones. I truly love my family, they mean everything to me and I can’t imagine life without them around. They provide me with support, love and companionship and when I am around them and doing things with them, I am very happy. I have been blessed with a wonderful family that makes me feel important and in return I do the same for them. To me it is mind boggling when people state, “They can’t stand their family, or they don’t get along with their family”. Family is the only people that will accept you no matter what and while they may be disappointed in things you may have done that were bad decisions, they stand by you. I am also happy when I have accomplished things I set out to do. I feel accomplished in my school work and in sports, therefore since I have accomplished the goals I set out to do I am happy that I have achieved those goals. Along with accomplishment and success comes a sense of euphoria. When I am out on the football field or throwing at discus and I reach my goal and go beyond that goal there is a certain sense of euphoria and with that comes a feeling of happiness. If I score the highest on a math or physics test I have a sense of accomplishment, success and euphoria and of courses with all of those feelings come happiness. I am also happy when I can reach out to help others. If an elder neighbor of mine needs help taking out their garbage cans or needs me to run to the store and get some groceries for them, and I can help then it makes me feel good on the inside and brings about happiness.
ReplyDeleteI agree that good family relationships are important for happiness. Carry this value on to you future family.
DeleteI believe the true meaning of happiness is when you have reached a point in your life that you have no complaints and no regrets about. There are steps to get to this point however. It is really important to not dwell on the past and to focus on the future. There is no need to dwell over things that have already happened, when you can go out and start going down different paths. It is also really important to find something that makes you happy, not your parents or friends. Happiness is something to be personally achieved, and shouldn't be to make others happy. I struggled with this stage in my life as I quit softball after four years because my mom thought I should just focus on school. I regret quitting and had always wanted to go off to college and play ball. Lastly, to achieve happiness it is important to really try and focus on the good times and not the bad. Don't waste any more of your short life dwelling on crappy things that occurred in the past, because you are missing out on the future. Focusing on happy events makes up happier people and can also change the way we look at life. I am constantly guilty of this because I tend to worry a lot. I still panic over things that occurred months ago, and instead of fixing them I sit and dwell over it. These are all things that have been on my mind the past couple months after having a couple people I knew well passed away. It is so idiotic to sit and dwell over things that have already occurred, and there is no sense in worrying about all the little irrelevant things that happened because life is way too short. It is really important that everyone goes out and does whatever makes you happy and to only live for yourself. “For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness" -Ralph Emerson.
ReplyDeleteHappiness is what we all work for in life so we can enjoy the gift of living. I believe that people are always trying to hard to achieve happiness but if we were to just take the time to slow down and look around us and just appreciate that we have this great opportunity of even being here. Happiness is not something you can just go out and buy. There is no such thing as a quick fix of happiness. If it is an experience in life, it is usually very personal. Happiness is supposed to be a feeling of satisfaction and contentment you derive for doing something. It is a feeling you achieved through your own effort and time. Some people have a high need to finding happiness, but these people need recognition, support, encouragement and positive feedback to continue be sustainable in seeking a sense of being contented. Basically in all meanings in ways to be happy I believe is not to take life for granted and just sit back and relax. Let happiness come to you instead of trying so hard to find happiness because if we slow down and just open up our eyes it may be right in front of you this whole time.
ReplyDeleteHello Rawnsen,
DeleteHappiness is truly something that is priceless in my opinion. It is something that one has in the world and you really have to find yourself. It is not something where you can buy yourself a materialistic item and be happy. You have to focus on one self to really understand this true meaning of happiness. Sometimes happiness is the small things one has in the world but they are grateful for them.
i agree with you July happiness is definitely not something you can buy.it is something you have to feel.material things do not determine your happiness.family and friends are people they can make you happy.long as your happy with yourself and surrounded by people you love your good.
DeleteHappiness to me is when you feel like your life is complete and have had no more regrets in your life. Happiness can vary to each individual, but I believe happiness will be at its prime when ones past will no longer haunt them and stop thinking about past mistakes that have been made. The reason why I think all of this means happiness is because I had the first take on this. After I quit playing soccer after 9 years, as years went by I started to see myself be less and less happy. Every time I was happy I started to think how I was a quitter and stopped playing soccer it brought me down even more. Once I accepted the fact that quitting soccer was in the past and that I couldn’t change anything, I started to see myself get back up and have that same happiness I had before I quit soccer. Happiness is a beautiful thing and I believe not one individual can live without it.
ReplyDeleteHello Dany,
DeleteSometimes a family member will put us down or say something they do not know is bothering us. Imagine going to a holiday party and your family is there. Someone comes up to you and says, "Dany, you seem like you gained some weight since you stopped playing soccer." If it was me and I was already down about the situation, it would really bother me.
It truly takes a lot of work and dedication but you have to learn to really love and care about yourself.
It is hard in society today because many people suffer from depression or just are not happy with their lives for one reason or another. It is sad because we all go through this at one point in our lives. It can be through school, through our job, or something happening to a family member or friend. Regardless of what it is, it really changes your whole perspective in life.
ReplyDeleteHappiness to me is when one is happy with themselves. They are grateful and proud for what they have versus the entire world. I look at my mom as this determined and strong woman. She works until 2am at her job 5 days a week. She does not complain but looks at the positive side of it. She knows she is supporting my dad and her. She is also making sure she has a roof over her head. It goes such a long way to see how she does not look at the negativity within the situation but tries to be happy.
It truly is a mind game and you have to really focus on taking care of one self and being happy with what one has. I see my girlfriend getting insecure at times about her body. As her boyfriend, trust me when I say this, I do not say anything and let her bet. What I am trying to say, she is happy with herself but sometimes gets insecure because she sees her friends. She feels they have a nice body than her or they have a baby face. If she gains a couple of pounds because I enjoy eating a lot, it bothers her a little bit. I grew up with women so I see this all the time. I look at my girl and see she tries not to think about it and looks at the positive things within her.
You bring up an important point about happiness beginning with yourself. Too often we look to others for happiness, but it is really right inside ourselves.
DeleteHappiness is something that is crucial to living a great lifestyle. Many people often battle depression issues and struggle with various obstacles that lead them to believe they can't do something or are physically unable to accomplish a task. When times like these come to the forefront it is vital to take a step back and try to see the big picture and the positives in the situation. It is a mind game that is constantly being played day in and day out by everyone around us. It is a difficult thing to give advice to someone about because many people keep their problems to themselves and try to put on a mask to the world. This is why forming close knit relationships with the ones you love are truly vital. If you are able to grow close to the ones you love you can share with them the difficulties you face daily. Happiness to me is once again something that can be very tough to do every day on your own. If you can surround yourself with positive people it will rub off on you.
ReplyDeleteI agree that happiness should not be a main goal in life. If we focus on being happy, we will be discouraged or depressed when times get hard. Also, if we are focused on being happy, than we may fill our life with things that make us happy for a time, but that happiness will wear off with time. Instead, we should focus on having a positive outlook on life, and look for the positive aspects of all situations. We need to work to silence the negative voices in our head, and turn our attention to positive thoughts. It is so easy to feel sad or sorry for our self when something doesn't go as planned, but instead we should think positive about what we will do different next time, and then take action. I also agree that we need to forgive people. Forgiveness will only hurt us, and not the other person. By forgiving them, we can overcome the situation and move on. Also, I think that all of our technology can make it hard to enjoy the moment. Even when doing something we enjoy, we will go on our phone and get distracted from the moment. I think that sometimes it is good to remove distractions, and just enjoy the life that is surrounding us.
ReplyDeleteI agree that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness.I have the philosophy that you can not truly enjoy the good times in your life if you do not experience the bad times as well. If a person never experiences bad experiences they do not get to learn from them as well. Thus without the bad you can never really enjoy the good things that do occur in your life. This week I had to read a few articles about ambition that I think applies to the last statement about how we often assume that more material possessions will make us happy but however, the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have. The article was saying that if we become too ambitious we no longer appreciate the goals that we have obtained and just focus on the goals that we still haven't achieved. Therefore material things can never amount to real happiness. For me happiness is obtaining a goal that I have worked hard to obtain, Even though it may seem small it is an accomplishment, and that makes me happy. Having lasting relationships is something else that I believe adds to my own happiness. For the future I intend to appreciate all of the little things, to never take anything for granted, and to enjoy the meaningful relationships in my life.
ReplyDeleteIt is a very insightful comment that we have to experience the bad to appreciate the good. Also too many people are looking for a shortcut to happiness through material goods. I especially see this at Christmas, but we are all just like kids who enjoy the Christmas gifts for awhile and then get tired of them. The more we have, the more we expect. When our expectations are not fulfilled, we feel sad. Accomplishing goals and relationships can bring more happiness than material goods.
DeleteI believe that true happiness has little to do with possession or wealth, rather I believe it has everything to do with health and your inner self. In order to truly be happy you have to be at peace with yourself, and firm in where you stand. It is also important to be healthy so that you can enjoy your life and to truly be happy with where you stand. I agree with the comments above about cultivating and using personal strengths in order to find happiness. Happiness is defined by everyone differently, but to the majority of people happiness comes with being content in where you stand with most aspects of your life, whether it is with personal relationships, school, work, public duty, government, health etc. Nevertheless, in order to be happy and appreciate happiness in our lives we must also be sad, because if we are never sad how could we know what it feels like to be happy. For instance why would sunny days be special if rain never existed, there must be something for us to keep in perspective in order to keep happy. We can find a million ways to make us happy, but they key here is to stay happy. What is most important is that you try your hardest in everything you attempt, in order to minimize the chance that you have regrets later in life, regrets always lead to unhappiness, and that feeling of knowing you could have done better really adds to a persons depression. They main key in my opinion is focusing on good times in your life, and keeping positive thoughts. If you feed yourself with negative energy you will most likely be a negative nancy your entire life, but if you feed your self positive thoughts and keep yourself happy you will truly by joyful through out your life. No one holds the key to our happiness except us, it is completely our choice to be happy or sad, and is completely in our hands for that reason it is very important to understand what it means to control your own fate, and be in control of all aspects of your life.
ReplyDeleteI like your comment that sunny days would not be special unless we experienced some rainy ones. I agree that it is important to focus on the good times and to think positively.
DeleteHappiness is one of those things in life that seems to be the main focus. Many people fail with happiness because they think that certain things will bring happiness to you. This is not the case though because often when they get what they want, they want more and more and happiness is never achieved. Happiness has to do lots with your mindset and following and sticking with your beliefs. In hard times it can be difficult to be happy. In difficult times it is hope that is needed. It is easier to be happy when you think of the purpose you have in this life. You do not even have to know your purpose to bring yourself to happiness. Just knowing you have a purpose, whatever it may be brings a smile to your face because you just know that there is a reason you are here in this world. Forgiveness is a big pat of being happy since when you are angry with someone, it is hard to be joyful. Forgiving brings you on the right end of things and just gives yourself peace and joy. Happiness can be different for different people but with many methods the same methods will help bring happiness to all people.
ReplyDeleteI have many of the same similarities as he does in regards to happiness. I also feel that my past does not determine my future, and no matter how my past went, in the future I always can make it a positive situation no matter what. I am glad that I am able to know that I can determine the happiness that my future can have if I make the right decisions. I am always grateful for the good events that happened in my past, and I make sure to not let the negatives that may have happened not affect me. I always forgive and forget, and I know that accidents happen, so I make sure to not make a big deal or stress out about things that I have no control over. Things are going to happen, and to ensure that I can be as happy as possible I make sure to understand that accidents do happen which allows me to live a very happy life. I always make sure to pause and just take in the blessed moments that I am fortunate to have, it makes me very happy to know that I can live a very happy life.
ReplyDeleteFrom Seligman's formula for happiness, I, both, agree and disagree with the first piece of that formula. I definitely agree that we all have a set range of happiness and that happy people will eventually return to being happy, as well as unhappy people return to being unhappy. However, I disagree that it is hereditary. I have seen studies that indicate otherwise. I love Sonya Lyubomirsky's idea of "cultivating" optimism. I definitely think it is a mindset we cultivate over time, until it becomes as natural as breathing. I also agree with her statement that if we have a positive view of the future, we will take the effort to reach our goals in life.
ReplyDeleteI intend to laugh more every day.
ReplyDeleteI intend to get enough rest.
I intend to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
I intend to have a positive view of the future.
I intend to live a stress-free, anxiety-free life.
I think that happiness is something that you are able to realize. I think that it comes to people with being something that is a materialistic item and that you have to buy. most people decide that certain items would make them happy so they are things I buy to make sure I am happy and get t have and use the things I want to. people who need materialistic items to have them happy I believe are less happy then the people who just need to have the family no matter how they come. I think that happiness is where you have no problem with the thing you are doing or has a problem with you at all loving yourself through everything. being able to be confident and open and loving to me is to be completely happy.
ReplyDeletewhat happiness means to me is:
ReplyDeletefamily and friends that love and care
being positive even in hard times
giving advice to people and always helpful
loving what you do
I think happiness is something that makes you a better person. It comes from doing things you love doing. The furthest thing from happiness is money and materialistic items. I always have had the belief the celebrities are the furthest thing from happy. People wish to have their money, but in reality the money takes away from happiness. I come from a pretty wealthy family and people always tell me "You're so lucky you're rich" or "You live in a mansion you're so lucky and I just laugh because my happiness does not come from any of those materialistic things. I get happy when I do the simple things such as hang out with my friends, get together with family, go to the park with my dog, and all the basic things people do everyday and take for granted. All of the things I buy with the money that my family has gives me happiness for maybe a day, week maybe even a month, but that is temporary happiness. True happiness comes from being around your loved ones and making the best out of your life with the people that matter. I saw a quote very recently that said "Some people are so poor all they have is money". This meant a lot to me because some people think if they had money they can do whatever they want and they will be happy, but those people miss the true meaning of life and the true meaning of what happiness is really about. All in all i think happiness comes from the little things in life that we take for granted that we should appreciate everyday, which is the people around us that make us happy.
ReplyDeleteI will smile more
I will be nice to my loved ones
i will stay in shape
I will eat healthy
I like your example of celebrities not being happy and that money takes away from happiness. I have observed this so many times. Many want to be like celebrities, but few of them are happy. Good comment!
DeleteThe key to happiness is to be positive in every situation and moment because if your not, then the moment is ruined. Realize that the past does not determine your future. We should all move on and start over. Move on from the past and take all the lessons you learned by putting them into action. The future is open to possibilities. You can be anyone that you want. For example, in college, students are changing their major all the time, but that should stress them out or make them feel that they are so undecided. You have your whole life to become anyone that you want and you should set a time limit on your college education. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. Don’t focus your time talking and thinking about all of the bad things that happened in your life. Don’t dwell on it because the good always out weighs the bad. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. It brings me great happiness when I forgive and forget because it gives me closure. I can move on and be happy again. Forgiveness is a very special process because it’ll be on your terms whether you want to or not. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. Discover what you love and make that as your career. I know a lot of people that work for the money, not because they love their job. If you take your activities that you love and change them to a career, it wouldn’t feel like a job to you. Take the time to savor the happy times. Be present. Don’t think too much on the future. Take the time to enjoy the present because tomorrow is not promised.
ReplyDelete1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the past can really help define your future happiness. Even though past experience may not have made you happy at the moment, they will help in the future. You will be able to know what to do differently to make yourself happy.
2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events.
Thinking negative about things that have happened before will only bring you down. Trying to keep a positive mind and attitude will only bring you happiness. I really believe past experience can make us all happy.
3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting.
By keeping an open mind I think this allows you to be more open to forgiving people and understanding people make mistakes. If you keep all the negative energy built up inside, its hard to be able to find happiness. By letting go of the small stuff you are able to make yourself happy.